Accepting Solitude in an Unfinished Life...A chapter from "The Diary of the Falling Dominoes" by Harlon Rivers

Sometimes change happens so fast you don’t even notice . . .however accepting life's changes as reality, can be a slow and self-loathing process . . . we are always as blind as we want to be.
Regrets are a waste of time that can leave you standing alone at the crossroads at the end of that day when the sun goes down. . .

Many footprints are left behind

the countless miles of pathways

traveled throughout an unfinished life.

Barefoot traces of past now’s

wind through the ashes,

as the smoldering embers 

of a turbulent past boundlessly linger.

Oppressive signs of crawling 

on bruised and battered knees 

remain in the dusty wake,

knowing that the squandered energy

trying to shed this calloused skin was wasted in vain

Black and white snapshots frozen in time,

vividly retell when it was as if there was no longer 

valid reasons to believe, as forward steps circled

Unable to beckon the strength

to rise from kneeling on bended knees

with the resolve to stand humbly tall, 

while walking towards the faltering light

Hesitation mired hopeful new strides

crossing the uncharted threshold 

into the void reaching beyond nebulous darkness

There were times when blisters bled raw

and thread bare socks wrung red

Holes in the soles of worn out boots

overwhelmed an unforgettable crippling agony

Distraction numbed the forgotten heartbreak

that enshrouded life, reducing life back

to the beginning  miles, 
when thoughts of mere baby steps was existence

There are days spent suspended

at friendless crossroads,

overwhelmed by indecision’s 
daunting toll,

only to take the wrong turns

foolishly pushed by a faith 
in the winds of change

The low road was recklessly chosen 

Where the shade in the shadows

of the gutter would not hide the burning ache

Days of running blissfully free upon the high road

were short-lived, as the loneliness of isolation

became too much weight to bear 

Infinitely searching for an ambiguous sense

of ever belonging, as it evolved 

into an unattainable destiny.

A  emotionally perplexing feeling 
overshadows an uncompleted journey;

a misunderstood lifetime 
spanning the cradle to the grave.

All the while, 
slowly growing to understand,

it is better to accept 
you may never be certain

you harmonize anywhere,

than trusting the mind made illusion, 

thinking you do.

One day you may awaken to discover. . . 
There becomes a need to cope with 
the disappointment when life unveils 
the end of the day . . .

In a conscious moment of listening 
to the silent stillness within, 

realizing you never will...